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We introduced a soft space about five or so years ago - and had to add a second one on the other side of the nave. We have a basket of soft toys, drawing materials, and a comfortable carpet. It is regularly used, and I love it when I see the kids standing on the pew and waving at me during the service.

We also have a balcony at the back of the church which is the traditional space for older kids (age 3+) and their families - they can see everything from up there, but can also move around without distracting other members of the congregation.

Our kids are present throughout the service, and we are rarely disturbed by noise (though sometimes parents take them to the back if they are fussing). They leave after receiving the Eucharist, and go to Godly Play or J2A, the acolytes joining them when the service is done. We have particularly found that introducing Godly Play has reinforced what we all do in worship.

The Rev Canon Dr Raewynne J. Whiteley
St James Episcopal Church
St James, New York, USA
stjamesrector@optonline.net
5 May 2014

I grew up in a parish in which the rector (Fr. Edward Caldwell Lewis) encouraged 'Family Mass': he insisted that all children be present for the entire Mass, and that they not be 'restrained' by their parents in any way. Consequently, little children wandered freely about the church during Mass – even into the sanctuary and sometimes even went up and stood next to the Celebrant at the altar for a short while. The amazing thing was that there was never once any 'child-noise' during Mass at all—no crying, no yelling, no loud talking, no fussing. And, it was a parish understanding that ALL adults in church had responsibility for ALL the children, not just their own. Sometimes children would have favorite adult friends and would go to sit with them rather than their own parents. Also, next to the font inside the rear door of the church was a huge heap of stuffed toys (like your 'soft spot'), so children could have things to play that weren’t noisy. Father Lewis moved the sermon to the end of Mass, so that after the dismissal, the children would leave for Sunday School. Then the Celebrant and the acolytes would leave the altar and go to the sacristy, he would remove his chasuble in the sacristy, and then go back in to the pulpit in alb and stole to preach. The acolytes unvested and went to Sunday School. The adults then had coffee hour after Mass until Sunday School was finished

By the way, in that parish ALL boys (in those days only boys!) were made acolytes. Automatically, when you were eight-years old you were made an acolyte. And ALL acolytes vested for service EVERY Sunday—the young ones carried torches and then lined up along both the sides of the sanctuary—sometimes as many as nine or ten! And then as a boy grew older, one gradually graduated to serving Mass.

And in some 27 years as rector, Fr. Lewis influenced 24 men to enter seminary—I think that may be a record. Oh, and the parish also produced two founders of religious orders! A pretty remarkable place in those days!

Fr. John-Julian, OJN
Hartland, WI, USA
johnjulianojn@sbcglobal.net
5 May 2014

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